How to Confidently Ask for the Raise You Deserve
It’s true when they say some women have a harder time asking for what they want and know they deserve when it comes to their career as opposed to men. I don’t know the psychology behind it, or why there is such a difference in confidence leading up to it, but I can speak from my own personal experience about the fear that runs through my mind when I know I have to have a conversation about money or status with an employer.
I want to share with you some tips I’ve picked up trying to climb the corporate ladder as well as the lessons I’ve learned when asking for a raise. These reminders help me stay confident and strong when I walk into a meeting to discuss a topic like this, and I hope it can help you too!
To shed some light on where this came from, a few years ago I was working at a company for quite some time and knew I was getting paid less than my counterparts who were doing the same amount of work if not less than me. It was a hard pill to swallow, but having that information I knew I had to put my big girl pants on and have a conversation with the owner of the company. It was something I had been wanting to do for a while but kept putting it off because I was…. frankly scared to have the conversation. Scared of what you may ask? I guess rejection? I guess the possibility of having to negotiate? Talking money isn’t easy for me, and it was interesting to speak to other men about it and learn that they didn’t carry the fear in the same way that I was, and how it seemed as though they had this natural assertiveness and deserving mindset inside of them that I felt I was lacking.
When I finally decided it was now or never, and that I deserved more money for all the hours and hard work I was putting into my job (successfully I might add), I knew I had to be as prepared as possible. I needed to know what I wanted to bring up and speak on and I wanted to be firm on those topics so my boss couldn’t control the conversation and sway me in another direction.
Here are the ways I prepared and this truly helped me and my confidence:
Do research beforehand, and see what other people in the same industry as you and around the same level as you are making. Basically, what is the industry standard and how are you falling on that scale currently?
Know the number that you want to be happy and that you know you deserve and then ask for $5k - $10k more. This will give you some wiggle room if the conversation does become a negotiation and if you land on a number below what you asked for, it will still be close to what you originally wanted.
Have a list of reasons ready to go on why you DESERVE this raise or promotion. Every company is more concerned about their bottom line and will do everything they can do pay you the least amount possible for the most amount of work. It’s sad, but true and handouts are hard to come by unless you can back it up. Have this list handy of all the things you have accomplished or moments you have exceeded expectations so when you ask for what you deserve you are prepared to back it up.
Don’t settle for less. If you are asking for a raise and your boss comes back with an offer less than what you know you deserve, be prepared to negotiate. If the response is firm, it’s okay to say you need some time to think about it and ask to resume the conversation the following day. You can even consider going on an interview or two with other companies to see if they will give you the money you know you deserve before the conversation at your current job even happens. This is just another negotiating tool to show that you are a valuable employee and if your current job doesn’t see that, then someone else will.
Pro-tip: It’s typically never a good idea to quit your job without having something else already lined up. If you know you need a salary/income to carry on with your lifestyle, don’t rock the boat with your current employer unless you have an awesome offer from another company and can use this as leverage.
5. Be confident! Stand your ground, be knowledgeable about what you need and why you need it. Be firm with your requests and don’t allow someone who may be “above you” to make you feel less than! You got this!
Even if things don’t go as planned, it will ALWAYS be worth trying. In my situation, things didn’t go my way and I did end up leaving for another company that valued me and was offering me even MORE money than what I was originally asking for at my current job at the time. I do believe that the pieces will fall into place if you are prepared to recognize them. This was all great practice for me, and the next time I had to have a tough conversation like this, I was definitely more confident and less nervous to do so. Practice makes perfect and knowing your worth it dope too!
